Saudi Version of Snow White Features New Mysterious Taller Dwarf, No Snow White
Dammam, Saudi Arabia (6:30 P.M. GMT)— Saudi Arabia’s Minister of Culture and Information, Hisham Shahid, announced today that Disney’s timeless classic Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs has finally been…
Rep. Michele Bachmann: Victory Mosque Cleverly Disguised As Cross-Bearing, Minister-Led Church
Washington D.C. (9:00 A.M. PST)— Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota’s 6th District announced the results of her independent investigation into Holy Christ Gatherings Church on the corner of 3rd and…
Top 5 Competitors In Upcoming Wudu Olympics
— Portland, Oregon (8:00 A.M. PST)— By Saleem Jawad Portland is busy making its final preparations for the annual International Wudu Olympics, set to take place in precisely one month. The…
Mosque Cuts Costs By Building State-Of-The-Art Online Women’s Prayer Hall
Al-Qadisiyyah, Kuwait (11:00 A.M. GMT)— Masjid Al-Farukh spokesman Samir Qays was thrilled to announce the completion of a new, state-of-the-art, completely virtual online women’s prayer hall this morning. The online prayer…
Pakistani Mom Gossip Reaches All-Time High After Saleem Actually Marries Rabia, Say Experts
Karachi, Pakistan (8:00 A.M. GMT)— Experts from the Karachi Institute of Gossip Studies announced this morning that nation-wide gossip among Pakistani mothers reached a new high after a local vegetable salesman, Saleem,…
Local Man Will Allow Muslim Neighbor To Continue Being Muslim
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1:00 P.M. CST)— After much consideration, local man Eric Ralston announced on his blog this afternoon that he will allow his Muslim neighbor, Ahmed Mahboub, to continue…
Efficient New Democracy Will Feature Single Un-Elected Representative
Cairo, Egypt (10:00 P.M. GMT)— Egypt took another step toward democracy this evening with the announcement of a progressive and unified government, operated exclusively by a single un-elected representative of…
Muslim Father Searches For Remote, World Doesn’t End
Los Angeles, CA (7:30 P.M. PST)— Abbasi family sources confirmed this evening that father and family patriarch Saleem Abbasi stood up, removed a few pillow cushions, and located the television remote…
FOX News Host Accuses Santa Claus Of Visiting The Homes Of Muslim Children
Baltimore, Maryland (9:00 P.M. EST)—The host of FOX’s The Kelly File and well-engineered robot Megyn Kelly has called for an investigation into Santa Claus and at least three of his nine…
Outrage As Pakistan Terminates Demon-Repellent Subsidy Program
Karachi, Pakistan (10:30 A.M. GMT)— Pakistan’s Ministry of Planning and Development has come under fire for its recent and controversial decision to end government subsidization of common household demon-repellent. The move comes…
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