Ahmed Will Be “Out Late Studying With All Male Classmates” on Dec. 31, Says His Proud Mother
According to Asma Manzoub, her son, Ahmed Manzoub, will be “really good alhamdulilah and study for his multi-variable calculus exam with only his male classmates at the library from 7pm…
7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2016
By Yahya Ridwan As 2016 comes to a close, we take a look back at and commemorate the achievements of some of our most valued community members: 7. Hakeem “I’ll…
Trump Begins Acceptance Speech With Call To Prayer
By Yahya Ridwan New York, NY (2:45 A.M.)–Donald J. Trump was welcomed by a rousing crowd at his campaign headquarters in New York City early this morning, as news of…
In a Show of Nationalism, Turkey Bans Chicken
By: Ahmed Rahil Tafilah Ankara, Turkey (10:00AM PST) - Today, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Erdogan held his annual Temperature of Turkey. Erdogan pleased political pundits by attacking an issue plaguing Turkish nationalism since his last speech, the sale…
Saudi Woman Accidentally Drives Car Straight into Hell
RIYADH – Local Saudi Arabian woman, Hussa ibn Yahya, has accidentally crashed her husband’s Range Rover straight into a portal to Hell. Despite the better judgement of her male chaperon,…
Local Muslim Couple Question if Sex Was Worth Getting Married at 20
by Yahya Ridwan Noting that Hassan and Fatimah are three weeks into their marriage and seem unhappy, sources confirm that the two are questioning whether the sex was worth getting…
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