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Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide

Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide

By Yahya Ridwan Burbank, CA (5:00 P.M. PST)– Experts from around the nation gathered in Burbank this afternoon to announce the complete halt to any and all arranged marriages planned…

Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down

Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down

By Yahya Ridwan NY, New York (4:00 PM EST)–Famed rapper Lil Jon announced his conversion to Islam this morning on Twitter. In a later tweet, the rapper indicated that he…

ISIS Finally Reaches Goal of 100% Male Membership

ISIS Finally Reaches Goal of 100% Male Membership

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is celebrating a major milestone today, as it has finally reached its goal of 100% male membership. The terrorist organization announced the…

Halal McNuggets Will Allow Muslims To Also Enjoy Food Poisoning

Halal McNuggets Will Allow Muslims To Also Enjoy Food Poisoning

McDonald’s is set to release a new line of halal-certified McNuggets, allowing Muslims to also enjoy the joys of food poisoning. The new McNuggets will be made with chicken that…

Disheveled Uncle Prepared to Refute Every Line of Khutbah

Disheveled Uncle Prepared to Refute Every Line of Khutbah

  By Yahya Ridwan (Madison, WI 12 PM MST)–Sources at the Islamic Center of Madison (“ICM”) are reporting the attendance of Br. Yunus Saadudin at this week’s jummah prayer. Saadudin,…

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

By Yahya Ridwan Cupertino, CA (8:00 PM PST): It’s that time of year again everyone! After literally thousands of submissions, we’ve compiled the best of the best brothers-looking-for-their-baby’s-mothers around. Without…

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelorettes At Your Local Mosque

2017′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelorettes At Your Local Mosque

By Layla Sabry Cupertino, CA (8:00 PM PST): Last season you got to meet the Top-5 Bachelors at your local mosque! This week, it’s the ladies’ turn. After thousands of…

7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2016

7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2016

By  Yahya Ridwan As 2016 comes to a close, we take a look back at and commemorate the achievements of some of our most valued community members: 7. Hakeem “I’ll…

Obama Invites Fellow Muslim to Bring Clock to Whitehouse

Obama Invites Fellow Muslim to Bring Clock to Whitehouse

By Yahya Ridwan Washington, D.C. (8:00 A.M. EST)–President Obama has announced that he has invited a fellow Muslim, 14 year-old Texas 9th grader Ahmed Mohamed, to the Whitehouse to share…

Mosque Heat Vision Cameras Capture Elusive Juma’ah Fart Bandit

Mosque Heat Vision Cameras Capture Elusive Juma’ah Fart Bandit

By Yahya Ridwan Dallas, TX (1:00 P.M. CST)–Leaders at the Maryam Islamic Center in downtown Dallas announced this afternoon the capture of the elusive Juma’ah Fart Bandit, known for his…

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