Muslim Man’s Ego Fatally Wounded In Coffee Shop Argument
By Yahya Ridwan Santa Clara, CA (9:30 P.M. PST)— A local Muslim man was rushed to El Camino Medical Facility tonight following a fatal blow to his ego. Local business owner…
Muslim On Airplane Fails To Smile Wide Enough, Pilot Makes Emergency Landing
Ashraf Qasim Houston, TX (6:45 PM CST)— Delta Airline’s Flight 532 to Dallas, TX was forced to make an emergency landing only 13 minutes into its flight after discovering…
Rep. Michele Bachmann: Victory Mosque Cleverly Disguised As Cross-Bearing, Minister-Led Church
Washington D.C. (9:00 A.M. PST)— Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota’s 6th District announced the results of her independent investigation into Holy Christ Gatherings Church on the corner of 3rd and…
Local Man Will Allow Muslim Neighbor To Continue Being Muslim
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1:00 P.M. CST)— After much consideration, local man Eric Ralston announced on his blog this afternoon that he will allow his Muslim neighbor, Ahmed Mahboub, to continue…
Muslim Father Searches For Remote, World Doesn’t End
Los Angeles, CA (7:30 P.M. PST)— Abbasi family sources confirmed this evening that father and family patriarch Saleem Abbasi stood up, removed a few pillow cushions, and located the television remote…
FOX News Host Accuses Santa Claus Of Visiting The Homes Of Muslim Children
Baltimore, Maryland (9:00 P.M. EST)—The host of FOX’s The Kelly File and well-engineered robot Megyn Kelly has called for an investigation into Santa Claus and at least three of his nine…
Representative Peter King Fears Muslim Radicalization Of Own Thoughts, Calls Emergency Hearing
Washington D.C., USA (3:00 A.M. EST)— Congressman Peter King, Chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee, called an emergency hearing after reporting feeling “particularly sharia-ish” and “inexplicably Muslimy” last night. The seasoned…
Arab Breezes Through Airport Security, Reports It To TSA Headquarters
Dallas, TX (8:30 A.M. CST)— Officials from the Washington D.C. headquarters of the Transportation Safety Administration were alarmed this morning after responding to an Arab man’s frantic allegation that he was…
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