Tel Aviv, Israel (3:30 P.M. GMT)–IDF spokesperson Mark Regev confirmed this morning at a press conference that Hamas militants have been hiding deep within the bodies of innocent children.
The revelation is based on a new report published by Israel’s Ministry of the Interior which describes the use of innocent children’s stomachs, chests, and other extremities as common hiding places for Hamas’ militant branch.
“The data reveals a disturbing trend whereby Hamas’ militants have sought refuge predominantly within innocent children, but other documented cases included elderly men and women, people seeking treatment at the hospital, and civilians casually sitting on park benches,” said Regev.
Meanwhile, Israeli civilians have been left powerless to act, describing the horror of walking by innocent Palestinian children at checkpoints and holding their breath, never knowing when a Hamas militant might emerge from the child and attack them.
Yahya Ridwan is a staff writer and Apartheid Correspondent for The Hummus.
He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org