ISIS Finally Reaches Goal of 100% Male Membership

graph_sisThe Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is celebrating a major milestone today, as it has finally reached its goal of 100% male membership.
The terrorist organization announced the achievement in a statement released today, saying that it is “proud to be the first and only organization in the world to achieve such a feat.”
“This is a great day for ISIS,” said Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the group’s leader. “When we first started out, we only had a few hundred members, and most of them were women and children.
But thanks to our hard work and dedication, we now have a 100% male membership.”
The group has been working towards this goal for many years, and has finally achieved it after implementing a number of policies that have discouraged women and children from joining.
“We understand that not everyone is cut out for the rigors of terrorism,” said al-Baghdadi. “But we believe that our all-male membership makes us a stronger and more effective organization.”
ISIS has been widely criticized for its treatment of women and children, but the group insists that it is committed to equality.
“Just because we’re an all-male organization doesn’t mean we’re sexist,” said al-Baghdadi. “We treat all our members equally, regardless of gender.”
The group has also been criticized for its use of violence and terror, but al-Baghdadi insists that these are necessary methods to achieve their goals.
“We believe that violence is a legitimate tool to achieve our objectives,” he said. “And we will continue to use it until we achieve our goal of a worldwide Islamic caliphate.”