Prosecutor Assures Public That Adnan Syed Definitely Muslim And Possibly Guilty
Sponsored By MailChimp Baltimore, MD (7:30 P.M. EST)–Following the conclusion of the popular new Podcast, Serial, attorneys from the Maryland Attorney’s Office assured the public that Adnan Syed was 100%…
Muslim Mom Still Doesn’t Know Who Ferguson Is
By Yahya Ridwan Orlando, FL (3:00 P.M. EST)—Salma Mojededi, 53 tear-old mother of two, announced today that she still has no idea who Ferguson is and why he is so…
Niqabi Going As “Sexy Tablecloth” For Halloween
By Layla Sabry Local niqabi Hanan Ayoubi announced today on her Facebook page that she would be going as a “sexy tablecloth” for Halloween this Friday. The announcement attracted the…
“I Should’ve Prayed Maghrib On Time” Says Royals Fan
By Yahya Ridwan Kansas City, MO (11:00 P.M. CST)–Speaking outside his suburban home in Kansas City this evening, Ayman Aleem apologized to the thousands of Royals fans for…
Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down
By Yahya Ridwan NY, New York (4:00 PM EST)–Famed rapper Lil Jon announced his conversion to Islam this morning on Twitter. In a later tweet, the rapper indicated that he…
Elderly Arab Men Watch “Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas,” Don’t Understand
By Yahya Ridwan Beverly Beach, Florida (9:00 GMT)— Two elderly Arab men are confused this evening after watching a discounted matinee version of Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (2013). The…
Iran Accused Of Enriching Flour Despite Repeated Warnings
By Yahya Ridwan Tehran, Iran (9:00 GMT)–At a special U.N. security meeting last week, The United States, Great Britain, and Australia warned the assembly about Iran’s continued efforts to dangerously…
Voting Age In Qatar Raised To “Voting For Incumbent”
Doha, Qatar (8:00 GMT) - Following weeks of open deliberation, the Qatari government has decided to raise the minimum voting age in all local and national elections to “Voting For Incumbent.”…
Muslims Finally Condemn Ebola, Expert Not Fooled
By Yahya Ridwan Sparked by a reddit debate that ignited yesterday, the official spokesperson of Islam and its 1.5 billion adherents throughout the world delivered remarks from an open letter condemning Ebola.…
Pressure Mounting As Suhail Must Choose Between Last Five Minutes Of Gilmore Girls And Maghrib
By Layla Sabry Boston, MS (7:00 P.M. EST)–Citing a nervous flutter in Suhail Khan’s voice, next door neighbor Ryan Erickson confirmed that Khan is currently conflicted between finishing a heart-wrenching…
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