Atlanta, Georgia (8:00 P.M. EST)— Multiple sources reported this afternoon that a man, allegedly raised in an Arab household, was visibly comforted by the sound of an unrelated elderly Arab women shouting at her adult son. The man, 42 year-old Rajeeb Abu Kamil had been suffering of debilitating anxiety, credited with severely limiting his relationships and causing his understanding of politics to become highly incomprehensible.
“I just heard her telling the silly son that he left his slippers on the wrong rug.” Remarked Abu Kamil. “She’s probably right, Mamma is always right.” he continued, rocking back and forth in a corner of the studio.
Salma Rayil, a witness to the incident, reported that Abu Kamil “smiled wildly” and “began vigorously breathing, as though crazed or dying.” upon perceiving the irrational rant by the older Arab woman.
“She told him he will not go to heaven because his shoe was possessed. She then proceeded to describe the political situation in a fictional country.”, Rayil reported. “After that, it was just a series of noises and intermittent crying.”
Other witnesses corroborate her report, adding further that Abu Kamil clenched his stomach and mouthed “Mamma” several times as he eavesdropped on the family dispute.
“I just think she’s right. Mamma is always right. I just don’t know why she won’t tell me as well. Did I do bad? Did Raji do bad Mamma?” Abu Kamil remarked without solicitation.
“It was only odd once he began writing ‘Abu Kamil must not forget the milk again’ on his shirt.” remarked Rayil. “There was a grocery store across the street.”