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Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

Mystery Fart “Planted by My Opponents,” Claims Incumbent Khateeb

  Birmingham, UK—Calls for the resignation of Shaykh Saleh Abu-Fasya have grown amidst the latest accusation that he continues to fart during khutbahs. Abu-Fasya has adamantly denied the allegations, calling them “politically motivated fabrications by a raucous minority.” Abu-Fasya appears to be referring to the “Hizb-ul-Parking Garage” faction…

Disheveled Uncle Prepared to Refute Every Line of Khutbah

Disheveled Uncle Prepared to Refute Every Line of Khutbah

  By Yahya Ridwan (Madison, WI 12 PM MST)–Sources at the Islamic Center of Madison (“ICM”) are reporting the attendance of Br. Yunus Saadudin at this week’s jummah prayer. Saadudin, who also goes by Hafeez Ul-Din at his own insistence, arrived two hours prior to the khutbah to…

Imam Calls for Mosque Shutdown Until Gender Separation Wall Built

Imam Calls for Mosque Shutdown Until Gender Separation Wall Built

  By Yahya Ridwan (Newark, NJ–9:00 PM EST)–Today, Imam Abdel-Latif Yusri of New Jersey’s Aisha Mosque announced that he will shutdown the mosque until he receives enough donations to build a five hundred foot gender separation wall. In a post-Maghrib speech, Yusri declared to the 44 congregants, of…

Saudi Aristocrat Escapes Dire Ritz Carlton Conditions, Cites Human Rights Violations

Saudi Aristocrat Escapes Dire Ritz Carlton Conditions, Cites Human Rights Violations

By: Ryadh Madroos, Saudi Arabia Correspondent Mohammad bin Salman, Saudi’s Crown Prince was dealt a major blowback today…

Uproar Over Starbucks’ Green “Allahu Akbar” Holiday Cups

Uproar Over Starbucks’ Green “Allahu Akbar” Holiday Cups

By Yahya Ridwan Seattle, WA (9:00 p.m. PST)–Thousands of Starbucks patrons across the nation have grown increasingly outraged over…

17-year-old Nada Disappointed to Learn Her Parent’s House Not a Hotel

17-year-old Nada Disappointed to Learn Her Parent’s House Not a Hotel

By: Anwar Nassar . On Saturday, after waking up at 11:30 a.m., getting showered and leaving the house…

Company Generously Treats Employees to Free Lunches for Entire Holy Month

Company Generously Treats Employees to Free Lunches for Entire Holy Month

By Yahya Ridwan (San Jose, CA–8:30 AM PST)–Citing a renewed effort to unite their workforce, well-established semiconductor BayLine,…

US Fighter Jets Drop 200 Cans of Pepsi Over West Mosul

US Fighter Jets Drop 200 Cans of Pepsi Over West Mosul

By Yahya Ridwan (Washington D.C. 5 P.M. EST)–The United States Air Force escalated its campaign against ISIS early…

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