World
White Guy Honored To Have Earned Nobel Peace Prize For Malala Yousafzai

White Guy Honored To Have Earned Nobel Peace Prize For Malala Yousafzai

By Yahya Ridwan Branson, MO (7:00 A.M. CST)–Speaking from a local cafe at an impromptu press conference late this afternoon, local white guy James Sullivan beamed with joy…

US News

Muslim Dude Gives No Effs, Swipes Right During Khutbah

Muslim Dude Gives No Effs, Swipes Right During Khutbah

  By Layla Sabry Seattle, WA (1:30 P.M. PST)–Following a packed jum’ah prayer, several congregants informed…

Muslim Mom Still Doesn’t Know Who Ferguson Is

Muslim Mom Still Doesn’t Know Who Ferguson Is

By Yahya Ridwan Orlando, FL (3:00 P.M. EST)—Salma Mojededi, 53 tear-old mother of two, announced…

Iraqi Forces Closing In On Cute Little ISIS-Controlled Cupcake Shop

Iraqi Forces Closing In On Cute Little ISIS-Controlled Cupcake Shop

By Yahya Ridwan Baghdad, Iraq (5:00 A.M.GMT)—Iraq’s Prime Minister Haider Al-Abadi announced early this morning…

Science & Technology

New App Allows Parents To Compare Ahmed To Fictional Children

New App Allows Parents To Compare Ahmed To Fictional Children

Redmond, WA (11:30 A.M. PST) — Microsoft, Inc. announced this morning the launch of a new app developed at the request of Muslim parents who desire to compare their children…

Apple TV For Muslim Mothers To Include ‘Fast Forward Through Entire PG-13 Movie’ Button

Apple TV For Muslim Mothers To Include ‘Fast Forward Through Entire PG-13 Movie’ Button

By Hamza Khan Cupertino, CA (10:00 A.M. PST)– Apple representatives were pleased to announce the release of Apple TV For Muslim Mothers this morning at their headquarters in…

New “iBribe” App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

New “iBribe” App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

Ajman, UAE (8:00 A.M. GMT)— The Middle-Eastern tech world is buzzing about a new app designed to connect government officials directly with their constituents more effectively this morning. The…

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

 By Ahmed Rahil Tafilah, Jordan (10:00 A.M. GMT)– Zookeepers and government officials at the Tafilah Municipal Zoo welcomed a small grey bear thing to the facility today. The small…

Opinions

7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2014

7 Lame-Ass Muslims Who Did Absolutely Nothing in 2014

By  Yahya Ridwan As 2014 comes to a close, we take a look back at and commemorate the achievements of some…

2014′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

2014′s Top-5 Muslim Bachelors At Your Local Mosque

By Yahya Ridwan Cupertino, CA (8:00 PM PST): It’s that time of year again everyone! After literally thousands of submissions, we’ve…