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Mosque League Basketball Team Clearly Converted Tyrone For Upcoming Tournament

Mosque League Basketball Team Clearly Converted Tyrone For Upcoming Tournament

By Ashraf Qasim Kansas City, Missouri (6:00 P.M. CST)– Masjid Al-Ameen’s intramural basketball team, The Tawheeds, is outraged this evening after what they’re calling  ”a clearly self-serving conversion of brother…

Cries For Reassignment Erupt After Sorting Hat Places Muslims In Undesirable Madhabs

Cries For Reassignment Erupt After Sorting Hat Places Muslims In Undesirable Madhabs

By Samir Talha Chicago, IL (12:00 P.M. CST)– Millions of would-be Shafis, Hanafis, Hanbalis, and Malikis lined up one by one, taking turns as the Sorting Hat was laid on…

Pakistani Baby Implicated In Attempted Murder Pleads Guilty To “Bottle Laundering” Charge

Pakistani Baby Implicated In Attempted Murder Pleads Guilty To “Bottle Laundering” Charge

By Tawakul Sayed Lahore, Pakistan (3:00 P.M. GMT)– Police Chief of Lahore, Ahmed Shafique, announced at a press conference this afternoon that baby Musa Khan will plead down to a…

Cold Caused By Going Out With Friends Last Night, Says Local Muslim Mother

Cold Caused By Going Out With Friends Last Night, Says Local Muslim Mother

 By Yahya Ridwan Seattle, WA (9:00 P.M. PST)– Sawsan Majeed, mother of 21-year-old Ahmed Majeed, confirmed this morning that Ahmed’s cold from last night was a direct result of him…