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Niqabi Going As “Sexy Tablecloth” For Halloween

Niqabi Going As “Sexy Tablecloth” For Halloween

By Layla Sabry Local niqabi Hanan Ayoubi announced today on her Facebook page that she would be going as a “sexy tablecloth” for Halloween this Friday. The announcement attracted the…

“I Should’ve Prayed Maghrib On Time” Says Royals Fan

“I Should’ve Prayed Maghrib On Time” Says Royals Fan

    By Yahya Ridwan Kansas City, MO (11:00 P.M. CST)–Speaking outside his suburban home in Kansas City this evening, Ayman Aleem apologized to the thousands of Royals fans for…

Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down

Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down

By Yahya Ridwan NY, New York (4:00 PM EST)–Famed rapper Lil Jon announced his conversion to Islam this morning on Twitter. In a later tweet, the rapper indicated that he…

Elderly Arab Men Watch “Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas,” Don’t Understand

Elderly Arab Men Watch “Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas,” Don’t Understand

By Yahya Ridwan Beverly Beach, Florida (9:00 GMT)— Two elderly Arab men are confused this evening after watching a discounted matinee version of Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (2013). The…

Iran Accused Of Enriching Flour Despite Repeated Warnings

Iran Accused Of Enriching Flour Despite Repeated Warnings

By Yahya Ridwan Tehran, Iran (9:00 GMT)–At a special U.N. security meeting last week, The United States, Great Britain, and Australia warned the assembly about Iran’s continued efforts to dangerously…

Voting Age In Qatar Raised To “Voting For Incumbent”

Voting Age In Qatar Raised To “Voting For Incumbent”

Doha, Qatar (8:00 GMT) - Following weeks of open deliberation, the Qatari government has decided to raise the minimum voting age in all local and national elections to “Voting For Incumbent.”…

White Guy Honored To Have Earned Nobel Peace Prize For Malala Yousafzai

White Guy Honored To Have Earned Nobel Peace Prize For Malala Yousafzai

By Yahya Ridwan Branson, MO (7:00 A.M. CST)–Speaking from a local cafe at an impromptu press conference late this afternoon, local white guy James Sullivan beamed with joy as he…

Muslims Finally Condemn Ebola, Expert Not Fooled

Muslims Finally Condemn Ebola, Expert Not Fooled

By Yahya Ridwan Sparked by a reddit debate that ignited yesterday, the official spokesperson of Islam and its 1.5 billion adherents throughout the world delivered remarks from an open letter condemning Ebola.…

Pressure Mounting As Suhail Must Choose Between Last Five Minutes Of Gilmore Girls And Maghrib

Pressure Mounting As Suhail Must Choose Between Last Five Minutes Of Gilmore Girls And Maghrib

By Layla Sabry Boston, MS (7:00 P.M. EST)–Citing a nervous flutter in Suhail Khan’s voice, next door neighbor Ryan Erickson confirmed that Khan is currently conflicted between finishing a heart-wrenching…

Maryam Doesn’t Have a Little Lamb Anymore

Maryam Doesn’t Have a Little Lamb Anymore

By Leila Sabry Auburn, Australia (1:00 P.M. AEST)– On Saturday morning, 8 year-old Maryam Fahza reported her lamb missing to both her parents and the local police. Maryam offered the following…