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Friday Congregation Led By Kanye Goes Surprisingly Well

Friday Congregation Led By Kanye Goes Surprisingly Well

By Yahya Ridwan Los Angeles, CA (1:30 P.M. PST)– Congregants of the United Deen Mosque were reportedly surprised this afternoon after guest speaker Kanye West remained relatively docile and focused while…

New “iBribe” App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

New “iBribe” App Makes Waves In Middle Eastern Tech Market

Ajman, UAE (8:00 A.M. GMT)— The Middle-Eastern tech world is buzzing about a new app designed to connect government officials directly with their constituents more effectively this morning. The new app,…

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

Muslim Zoo Welcomes Arrival Of ‘Small Bear Thing’ To Facility

 By Ahmed Rahil Tafilah, Jordan (10:00 A.M. GMT)– Zookeepers and government officials at the Tafilah Municipal Zoo welcomed a small grey bear thing to the facility today. The small furry creature…

Pentagon’s New Uniform Policy Threat To Wholesome American Bigotry

Pentagon’s New Uniform Policy Threat To Wholesome American Bigotry

  By Zafir Mehdi Washington D.C., USA (10:00 A.M. EST)— Commentators and policy analysts in Washington have expressed that the Pentagon’s relaxed new policy on religious attire will deal a huge…

Muslim Man Faced With Choice Between Beef Jerky And Heaven

Muslim Man Faced With Choice Between Beef Jerky And Heaven

By Khaled Shawky Orlando, Florida (5;30 P.M. EST)— Sources confirmed this afternoon that local University of Miami student Hani Rasheed was viciously faced with the choice between endless mouth-watering bliss…

Muslim Man’s Ego Fatally Wounded In Coffee Shop Argument

Muslim Man’s Ego Fatally Wounded In Coffee Shop Argument

By Yahya Ridwan Santa Clara, CA (9:30 P.M. PST)— A local Muslim man was rushed to El Camino Medical Facility tonight following a fatal blow to his ego. Local business owner…

Pakistan To Launch Mufti Onto Surface of The Moon To Confirm End of Ramadan, First Day of Eid

Pakistan To Launch Mufti Onto Surface of The Moon To Confirm End of Ramadan, First Day of Eid

Islamabad, Pakistan— (5:00 GMT) Sources have confirmed that the Pakistani Ministry of Religious Affairs plans to send their Chief Mufti Salim Qureshi to the moon on the 27th night of…

Muslim On Airplane Fails To Smile Wide Enough, Pilot Makes Emergency Landing

Muslim On Airplane Fails To Smile Wide Enough, Pilot Makes Emergency Landing

  Ashraf Qasim Houston, TX (6:45 PM CST)— Delta Airline’s Flight 532 to Dallas, TX was forced to make an emergency landing only 13 minutes into its flight after discovering…

Top 5 Female Underground Saudi Street Racers

Top 5 Female Underground Saudi Street Racers

Editorial— December 28th, 2013 The annual Sister Blister Street Race is set to kick off this weekend in Dhurma, Saudi Arabia. Featuring some of the best female street racers in…

Op-Ed: Egypt’s New Constitution Is Best Work Of Local 4th Grader’s Writing Career

Op-Ed: Egypt’s New Constitution Is Best Work Of Local 4th Grader’s Writing Career

—Cairo, Egypt (7:30 P.M. GMT)— By Ahmed Rahil With the majority of the votes counted, Egypt’s New Constitution seems set to become the supreme law of the land, for now.…

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