Saudi Woman Accidentally Drives Car Straight into Hell
RIYADH – Local Saudi Arabian woman, Hussa ibn Yahya, has accidentally crashed her husband’s Range Rover straight into a portal to Hell. Despite the better judgement of her male chaperon,…
Local Muslim Couple Question if Sex Was Worth Getting Married at 20
by Yahya Ridwan Noting that Hassan and Fatimah are three weeks into their marriage and seem unhappy, sources confirm that the two are questioning whether the sex was worth getting…
Satan Drunk Texts Donald Trump After Campaign Victory
by Yahya Ridwan Atlanta, GA (3:00 P.M. EST)–Leaked screenshots from Donald Trump’s phone reveal that Satan, man’s ultimate enemy and part-time barista, drunk texted the president-elect following his libelous claims…
Donald Trump: “No Prayer Spaces in Muslim Internment Camps If I’m President.”
New York, NY (9:00 p.m. EST)–Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump called a press conference on Monday to announce his plans for banning all prayer spaces in the Muslim Internment Camps he…
Conversion Of Ryan Gosling To Islam Halts Arranged Marriages Nationwide
By Yahya Ridwan Burbank, CA (5:00 P.M. PST)– Experts from around the nation gathered in Burbank this afternoon to announce the complete halt to any and all arranged marriages planned…
Obama Invites Fellow Muslim to Bring Clock to Whitehouse
By Yahya Ridwan Washington, D.C. (8:00 A.M. EST)–President Obama has announced that he has invited a fellow Muslim, 14 year-old Texas 9th grader Ahmed Mohamed, to the Whitehouse to share…
5 Ways to Welcome Back Shaytan
5. Make a “welcome back” sign Signs are awesome! They’re easy to read and prove to Shaytan that you have extra time on your hands that he can help fill with…
Ahmed Spends Laylat ul Qadr Earning 1000 Months Worth of Xbox Achievements
by Yahya Ridwan Chicago, IL (3:00 a.m. CST)–In what is being described by gaming media outlets as “a spectacle of gaming prowess,” Chicago resident Ahmed Dabbousi spent the entirety of…
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