Lil Jon Converts To Islam, Turns Down
By Yahya Ridwan NY, New York (4:00 PM EST)–Famed rapper Lil Jon announced his conversion to Islam this morning on Twitter. In a later tweet, the rapper indicated that he…
Elderly Arab Men Watch “Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas,” Don’t Understand
By Yahya Ridwan Beverly Beach, Florida (9:00 GMT)— Two elderly Arab men are confused this evening after watching a discounted matinee version of Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (2013). The…
Iran Accused Of Enriching Flour Despite Repeated Warnings
By Yahya Ridwan Tehran, Iran (9:00 GMT)–At a special U.N. security meeting last week, The United States, Great Britain, and Australia warned the assembly about Iran’s continued efforts to dangerously…
Voting Age In Qatar Raised To “Voting For Incumbent”
Doha, Qatar (8:00 GMT) - Following weeks of open deliberation, the Qatari government has decided to raise the minimum voting age in all local and national elections to “Voting For Incumbent.”…
Muslims Finally Condemn Ebola, Expert Not Fooled
By Yahya Ridwan Sparked by a reddit debate that ignited yesterday, the official spokesperson of Islam and its 1.5 billion adherents throughout the world delivered remarks from an open letter condemning Ebola.…
Pressure Mounting As Suhail Must Choose Between Last Five Minutes Of Gilmore Girls And Maghrib
By Layla Sabry Boston, MS (7:00 P.M. EST)–Citing a nervous flutter in Suhail Khan’s voice, next door neighbor Ryan Erickson confirmed that Khan is currently conflicted between finishing a heart-wrenching…
Husain Abdullah Missed Kaba By 17 Degrees
By Yahya Ridwan NY, New York (1:00 P.M. EST)–On Tuesday morning, NFL Commissioner and Chief Football Mufti, Roger Goodell, presented rationale for the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty assessed against Husain Abdullah…
Emma Watson’s Dowry Plummets After U.N. Speech, Says Local Sexist
By Layla Sabry Citing Emma Watson’s rousing feminist speech at the U.N. speech last Saturday, local sexist and expert goat-herder Javeed Memon announced a significant drop in Watson’s predicted dowry.…
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