Cairo, Egypt ( 10:00 A.M. GMT)– After a recent ruling by an Egyptian judge to summarily execute 530 people, human rights groups and the United Nations Human Rights Watch are applauding…
By Sameer Mitwali Sochi, Russia (8:00 P.M. GMT)– Local media outlets in Sochi announced the arrival of the Lebanon International Winter Olympics Team this afternoon. Asif Mubeen, one of the…
By Yahya Ridwan San Diego, CA (7:30 P.M. PST)- Local annoying child congregant of the Islamic Society of San Diego, Sameer Yunus, age nine, announced his retirement from running between the…
By Ashraf Qasim Chicago, Illinois (7:30 P.M. CST)– Members of Iman Masjid in downtown Chicago announced this evening that they had unexpectedly made a well thought-out reasonable decision that directly…
By Layla Sabry Baltimore, Maryland (5:00 P.M. EST)– After a seemingly endless spousal drought, Usman family sources report that Zainab Usman is now engaged. The announcement came via her mother…
By Ashraf Qasim Ann Arbor, Michigan (7:30 P.M. CST)– The president of the local Muslim fraternity Halal Haram Halal (“HHH”) confirmed this afternoon that they will be hosting an intense…
By Yahya Ridwan Fremont, CA (5:00 P.M. PST)– Sources familiar with the Little Kabul Mosque claim that Mehran, a local Muslim kangaroo, feels ostracized from the exclusively Afghan-tailored house of…
By Zayd Unis Sochi, Russia (7:00 P.M. GMT)– Winter Olympics fans across the world were pleasantly surprised this morning after underdog Imam Faisal Sawany took home the gold in this…
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